Brandon Brittingham, if you don’t know who he is, I’d look into him. He’s just massive, he runs the fifth-largest real estate team in the country, the biggest in Maryland. But this dude is just a really amazing human being who shares in his fondness of gorillas. He calls himself a gorilla. I call myself gorillas sometimes. But we did a couple podcasts together and one of them was on the victim mindset. And look, I know it’s hard. I know things are not going your way. I know it’s hard to find people. It’s hard to manage expectations. It’s hard to get clients to pay. It’s hard to run a marriage. It’s hard to run children. It’s hard to have a family. It’s hard to have brothers and sisters. It’s hard to have parents. It’s hard. Life is hard.
It doesn’t matter which side of hard you pick. It’s hard to be overweight. It’s hard to be in shape. It’s hard to be wealthy, it’s hard to be poor. It’s hard to have things. It’s hard to not have things. And if you’re sitting on one side of that saying, “Oh, it’d be easier if I had shit,” no, you’re fucking wrong. “It’d be easier if I had money.” No, it’s just different problems. And so if you are looking around at other people and acting like a victim because if you only had what they had, your life would be easier. You are absolutely full of shit. You just don’t know what you don’t know about that situation. You don’t know what you don’t know about that perspective of life. It’s you don’t know what you don’t know about the alternative of whatever it is you have experienced.
Loving is hard. Heartbreak is hard. Being alone is hard. Being married is hard. Having money, not having money, having things, not having things, having a big business, having a small business, having a lot of clients, having very few clients, creating content, not creating content, hiring, firing, stagnation, growth, it doesn’t matter what you are dealing with, it’s supposed to be hard. And whoever fucking told you, whoever you’re looking to say that it’s supposed to be anything different, is also full of shit. People out there who are pushing around this get rich quick, abs in 30 days fucking bullshit is bullshit.
I’m sorry that you are feeling like, “Oh my God, as soon as this happens, I’ll be able to relax. As soon as this happens. I’ll be happy. As soon as this happens, I’ll have what I want.” Nope, you won’t. And I’m sorry to break it to you, but you won’t. The journey is the only thing that stays true. It’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. And so no matter which hard you choose, the choice is yours. The victim mentality says, “Well, I can’t have what I want because of all these other people or all these other influences or all these other things.” No, the truth is you just haven’t chosen yet. By not choosing, you make the choice. I’m going to live in whatever bullshit I’m in. I’m going to live in whatever depression. I’m going to live in whatever anxiety. I’m going to live within whatever addiction. I’m going to live in this poor mentality, this scarcity mentality, this poverty mentality. I heard someone use that over this past trip and I think that’s a great terminology that kind of encompasses a lot.
If you are just destined to be poor in spirit and in mind and in health and in finances and in relationships, if you’re always just looking for what you don’t have when everybody else does, trust me, every single person you look to, “That if I just had their life, my life would be better,” you couldn’t handle the problems that person deals with. You couldn’t handle the decisions that person deals with. I promise you. I promise you. So stop acting like a fucking victim. Stop acting like everything’s out to get you. Stop acting like you’re the only ones dealing with this. And you say, “I know I’m not the only ones dealing with this, but man, this is really hard.” That’s a victim mentality. Instead of saying that, saying, “I know everybody’s dealing with this, so I can’t wait to solve it so I can beat those people, the people who can’t solve this problem, the people who can’t do what I’m trying to do, the people who can’t see what I see, the people who can’t be as creative as I can be.”
Everybody deals with problems. Everybody deals with hard. Everybody’s journey is difficult. I don’t care what you think. If you think anything other than that, I’m sorry, but you are wrong. And as long as you hold on to that mentality, the, “as soon as I have, I will be,” you’ll forever be unhappy. You’ll forever be disappointed. You’ll forever be depressed. You’ll forever be a victim, a victim to everything outside of your control, and a victim to your own inability to take control of the decisions you can. You can decide what foods you eat. You can decide how you sleep. You can decide who you are around. You can decide what you do. You can decide what you drink. You can decide what you watch. You can decide what you listen to. You can decide what actions you take. You can decide how you’ll handle obstructions and issues. You can decide how you’re going to show up. You can decide how you’re going to dress. You can decide who you’re going to talk to and not talk to.
You can make 10 times more intentional decisions in your day than you realize if you just decide I’m going to manufacture everything I want no matter what. They turn into wins as opposed to losses. They turn into success stories instead of stagnation. They turn into wins for you as a person in your mind as I did something as opposed to, “Well, I can’t do anything because of,” insert whatever excuse you’ve been utilizing.
Because there’s the other side of this. There’s somebody right now who wishes they had what you have, likely that person was you 24 months ago. Most of the people who are in my audience, most people that I engage with, 24 months ago would’ve been praying and hoping and begging for what they have right now, but you still want to act like a victim. But you still want to act like, “If the market were just this, or the cash flow issues were just this, or if the supply chain issues are this,” just stop. Stop pretending that you have any control over that, and it’s what you do with it. Because somebody’s going to be successful with the circumstances you have right now. Why not you? Why couldn’t it be you? Why can’t you change the way an industry operates because you were not willing to succumb to the shit that’s not in your control when everybody else does?
It’s easy to walk into an Apex room or one of my WinRate groups or be around other high performers and feel like I’m the worst. “Everybody’s got it better than me.” That’s such a small percentage. If you look at Apex and Arete and Lions Den and WinRate, I’m going to put myself in that fucking category. You’re welcome. But we’re talking about less than 20,000 people total between all those programs. It might even be closer to 10,000 people total. 10,000 humans that you’re comparing yourself to out of in just the United States 330 million. There are people out there right now that wish they had the life you had and you’re over year acting like a little bitch victim.
I’m sorry, but I think somebody needs to hear that right now so they can make a change today. They can make a change today that could impact the rest of their year, which can impact the rest of their life. Stop acting like your problems are unique to you. Stop acting like no one can possibly understand. “My business is different. My clients are different. My market is different.” It’s not.
Get out there and take action on what you can control today related to who you want to be and what you want to have, and you’ll be amazed at what you can manufacture in your life. I have zero doubt about that. I’ve lived that. I’ve done that. And I’m just getting started. Please, I beg you to get out there and stop acting like a victim and start acting like a champion.
Win fast, win often. Make it a great week. Not for me, but for you!
